Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Plans Shot To Hell?

What do you do when you think you've been used? What goes through your head? Is it that feeling of your heart being crushed. Knowing that all your feelings were a lie? Knowing that all you have been fighting for has been thrown against the wall and shattered? What do you do? What do you do when you know you're going to be miserable for the next few months? You have your friends and family by your side. What happens when some people don't care and they throw a "told you so" in your face? You love this guy so much after everything you guys have been through, and now he decides to decrease contact with you? What do you think that means? Is there something happening? Should you be worried, should you be scared? Should you just shrug it off your shoulders and say whatever?
I think I've been used. A boy that I have loved for so long now has been shot to hell. He decides to cut contact. And I have no idea what to do. I feel crushed, I feel that all my feelings were a lie and all that. Long distance sucks, and when you fight for it, you fight. I think I have been fighting for too long and maybe it's time to let go. There's that part of me that's saying you shouldn't. Don't let go just yet, maybe he didn't use you. I don't know the true facts, but this is how I feel.  I hope to not be miserable. I don't deserve to be miserable. I deserve to be happy and enjoy life. There are parts of life that I do enjoy, but love; it's something that needs time and I don't know. I love him a lot, but I don't think he feels the same anymore. I'll add  to this later.

Monday, February 28, 2011

In 10 Years, Where Do You See Yourself?

   If you could picture yourself in 10 years, who would you be? Or who would you want to be? Have you ever thought what the world would be like? What the government would be like? Your community? What would you want in your life? Who would you want in your life? Would you want a family? I think about these questions a lot. I'm only 19 years old, but still. I still think about these things. If I could picture myself in ten years, I want to have a career at a Ford Dealership working with Mustangs. I want to be that woman that anyone could trust and love. I want to be a wife of a great husband and make him happy and make my kids happy. Ten years from now? 2021. I don't know what the world would be like. I don't want to know. If it's a no-war zone, then that will be good. But if we're still fighting in the Middle East, then no. Would I still be in Oly? How would Oly be in ten years? Who knows. That's the only answer. Who knows. I want a family, of course. Who wouldn't? I can picture myself with two adorable kids. A boy and a girl. I love kids, and I hope that when I do have a family, it will be a good one. We can only make the world great as we make it. If no one is happy, then our world, our community will not be happy. It would end up like a huge "Wal-Mart," because no one is happy there. We don't want our world like that. There are lots of things that I hide in my life. I'm happy because that's what I make my life out to be. I hope that my dreams come true in 10 years. Maybe not everything will, but some. I really hope to be successful. That's my main point, here. To be successful and happy in 10 years.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Sometimes I See What Others Don't

I am the type of person who cares for every single one of my friends. When I see them in trouble, I will help them out the best I can. It hurts to find that they might not see that, but I hope they do. I have been to the point in which I thought I was going to have no friends. I didn't know where go to. The only place I went was here. This Blog was my friend, and still is. I'm really glad some friends have came back to me, and I have seen change drastically. Really good change. I know everyone isn't perfect, and we all see different things, but from what I'm seeing, this is very good. I hope everything is going to be okay. Taking road trips helps me think. Even road trips with friends. This last road trip was so worth it. Each moment I spend with my best friends is worth it. No matter who you are. I want you all to know, that it means a lot to me that I have the greatest friends. No matter if there's drama, there will always be drama. You're either in it or you're watching it. I love you all!  

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Is There a Chance?

I have a feeling that something may happen in the next few months. Every time we talk, we talk like nothing ever happened. We talk like everything is okay. We talk like we have a future. I really hope something may happen. I can't wait to come down and see you again. I will wait. I will be patient for anything that's to happen. The world is such a huge place, and there's so much out there, who knows what could happen. With our futures coming up, I feel that there is a place for the both of us to be together again. I am a happy person right now. I have been happy. I'm staying happy. If something happens that's different, then I'll be okay with it. I can't wait until summer, it's going to be amazing =)

Friday, February 11, 2011

Dear Someone, Love Always, Anonymous

Dear someone,

Since you have been gone, I have been doing very well. I thought I was over you, but I'm not. I have tried so hard and nothing works. I've been on a few dates here and there, but those guys didn't meet my qualifications (ha ha)! But they don't compare to you. No body in this world compares to you. I would love to go down and see you again, but I don't know if it'd be weird or not. I miss you a lot. I just hope that in the future, we can see what happens. I hope. It's in my dreams. I hope to see you again. One of my biggest fears is not seeing you again.  I'm so glad you are still in my life and that you're still there for me. It means so much to me. I hope you are doing well down there and enjoying the everyday sun. I still love you. I will always love you.

Love Always,

Friday, February 4, 2011

Goodbye 18.

This is my last day being 18. 
This was a very good year for me, I learned quite a bit.
I got my first ticket, I graduated high school, and I moved out of my parents.
Now, I am a student at SPSCC and going for Automotive Technology. 
I also lost some friends and some of them came back for good. I really hope this year goes
good for me. One of my best friends just told me that being 19 is one of the best years of your life. I just came home from my dinner party and thought it was very worth it. I really appreciate my friends who came for me. Also, there is one friend who's going off to the Army. He has been there for me for a long time. And I'm glad to call him my friend. I hope the Army does good things for you, and you come home safely. I love you lots and there's people here who love you as well.
In two years from now, I will be 21. It's hard to believe. I remember when I was 6 years old just going into kindergarten. Time flies. I have to admit, for all that I have been through, I love my life as it stands. Tomorrow is going to be a great day and I can't wait to spend it with the best people in the world who made me who I am today. My parents. I love them so much. As I said in my last blog, if you haven't thanked your parents, you should do so. I'm looking forward to the future. Thank you 18 for being good for me. =) 

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Have You Ever Told Your Parents This?

A lot of us have the best parents in the world. Some of us don't. For me, my parents are the best people in the world. They teach you right from wrong, they are there for you, and they love you. No matter if you go out and do bad things, your parents may not like you, but they love you. My mom and dad have told me that. There were times where they didn't like me, but they still loved me. Have you ever told your parents that you appreciate them and for what they do for you? Have you ever thanked them? I appreciate everything they have done for me, whether it was buying groceries, grounding me (ha ha), and other things. I may have not told them lately, but I should. If you think about it, they have a Mother's Day and they also have a Father's Day. Why not combine the two holidays so it becomes Parent's Day? When I turned 18, I thought that I could do anything I pleased. I would leave and return when I felt like it. It didn't go through to my parents well, they did not like that. Reason being? It was because it was their house, their rules. I was trying to make my own rules, which did not work. I'm sure every 18 year  old goes through something like this. This is when you think that your parents are stupid and that they don't care. Well obviously they do. They've been 18 before, and they know things. It's not always about "having fun" it's about being responsible. That's what they teach you. I regret something. This is a huge regret for me. I wish I could bring everything back. I wished I spent more time with my parents last summer. I was never home. And with all the drama, if none of that ever happened, I would have spent more time with them. They don't know this, but I wish I didn't leave the house and came home around 1 am. Since I moved out, my relationship with my parents is so much better. They were right about everything. Being an adult is not about "having fun." It's about getting out there and being responsible. That finally got through to my head, and here I am, I'm done having fun, I'm in college and working. I'm being responsible. Because of who? Because of me, and because of my parents. They are not stupid, no matter what. They have been teenagers before and they do know what they're talking about. So, have you ever told your parents that you appreciate them? Maybe you should. To my parents, you are wonderful people, you have taught me right from wrong, and still teaching me! I love you guys so much. =)